Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
