Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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