Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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