D3 body, D1 cock
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
there is glitter all over my balls
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