You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
