Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
