What did we do last night that was yellow?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
