You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
