I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
