Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
