I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
