actually, I'm a sock model
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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