He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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