dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
