I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
