I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
