Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
we made out on top of his cat.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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