You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
