you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
