You work out of a Hotel?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
