Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize
