Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
