meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
