do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
