Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
