Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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