i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
