No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm like, not good at living.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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