We won't sleep together?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
