I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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