i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just want to make out with him forever
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize