No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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