Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
this boner is exhausting
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
