Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize