so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
