the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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