It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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