she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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