You're my little dorito
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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