I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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