ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize