There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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