She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
