Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
