I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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