My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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