Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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