Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
