How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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