Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
