Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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