We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
