3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
