i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
