my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
