Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
