the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So apparently I’m into choking now
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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