Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize