how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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