Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
