My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
