So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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