i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
