if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
